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Why did I go see this one? Firstly and most importantly RDJ is my imaginary BFF (anyone with a successful story of redemption gets lots of love in my book) Secondly, it was free! Times are hard; it will be silly of me to pass up a free movie. Thirdly, RDJ (to me) is the most gifted actor in the whole of the USA. Please note, this scientific fact is not arguable, if you try arguing, you will lose, period.
The Judge is the story of a semi-tortured lawyer (RDJ) who goes back to his childhood town to bury his deceased mother. After the funeral, his estranged father, The Judge is accused of a crime and (RDJ) feels obligated to defend him though they are estranged.
The verdict? The whole cast gets an imaginary Oscar from me. The audience’s reaction? They were all weeping – men, women, young, and old; everyone in tears.
Why am I writing about it? It did not just hit a nerve, it hit a major artery. You see, as a kid between the ages 1-8, I have very pleasant memories of my father, he was the funniest guy, the most charming. I was excited when he came home from work and he matched my excitement always. He never came home empty-handed. I beamed when people would say, “oh gosh you are a carbon copy of your dad”. For those of you who don’t know what a carbon copy is, well it’s this black paper you put behind a sheet to…….wait, if you don’t know what it is? Google it! Where was I? Right! So basically I looked a lot like my dad and I took pride in looking like him because he was just plain awesome!
Until I had to repeat a grade! I got held back in school because to quote my principal “I was the most brilliant child she knew but I had the attention span of dog” A whole 3 seconds long”. In the USA, I would be labeled as having ADD but I don’t; I just get bored quickly.
So my Mom got my report card and walloped me immediately for failing so miserably and bringing great shame on them. Surely my Dad, my favorite, he would never do such a thing. Oh no, not him. He got my report card and said “I will wallop you later but till then you have been banned from watching m-net(Nigerian Cable)” A week passed, a month, two, no walloping but the affection dwindled. It was torture but I was ok as long as I didn’t get hit or so I thought. By the third month though he wasn’t affectionate anymore, I assumed he had forgotten about the special “save-for- later-smacking -of -a -life -time”. He hadn’t. My father beat me soo much my nose bled.
The unintentional regular scheduled programming of beatings, emotional torture, and constant harassment continued for 10 yrs, I was the worlds angriest teenager who didn’t care on the surface but was constantly trying to prove to my dad I was still worth the affection and the attention. I should still be the angriest person alive but for grace.
So what was it about The Judge that moved me? I’m turning 28 in a week; I’m a big girl now! I kinda should be over it. Yet all I wanted to do was put my hands around my dad and tell him that 8 yr old in me gets it. There aren’t a lot of avenues to find healing in these days. My siblings don’t get it, “we all got pummeled” they say, “Why does it bother you so much?” Well because I felt abused. Most African parents will die first, be born and die again before admitting that constantly berating and beating the crap out of you is abuse. Heck I even find it hard to call it Abuse. Discipline sounds more pleasant I guess.
The movie gave me and the many crying audience members a rationale that if I was once the apple of my father’s eye, then my father loved and still loves me despite the abuse. It made me comprehend that based on his experience from the world around him, if I failed once; I was going to keep failing. If I rebelled, I’ll end up a gutter snipe and if I befriended boys, I would be promiscuous. So he proceeded to beat it out of the girl I could have probably become and not the girl I truly was in my heart or the woman I’m becoming.
All of the instances don’t agree with this new-found rationale but most of them do. As I get older, I am starting to think more about our mortality. At some point I will have to take care of my parents whole-heartedly. I hope that I have been finally able to forgive for my own sake and find some rest about this issue. I also hope that I find comfort in knowing that I don’t need anyone’s approval or validation and that I really have done well with my life.
The Ministry Of Adventure 
Very amusing and conversational at FIRST!!! And then boom, under your skin touching and emotional. Love this. Thank you knee. More healing More Impact!
In the story of every greatness is some mistreat, misjudgment and pain. If God were to tell Joseph before hand that the Hate, the Hole, the Prison in Egypt were all part of the whole story; in fact, the informal school for his reign in the palace, he would have chosen another route. I have indeed learnt not to hold to heart those God used their cruelty to teach me wisdom; never to see myself as being treated badly when what I needed to learn what is not available in secular a schools.
Beautiful write Oluwagbeminiyi, those seasons and this one we all are in is our school. The teachers had and are playing their parts and they are not pleasant, but in the end, the glory of the LORD (fulfillment of His word) will become manifest.
Strength and honour will flow to others from your given vessel. Amen.